Money, yest'day m'life was filled with rain 🎵

🎵 Money, you smiled at me and really eased the pain

Hey [Insert name of Superior],

Just wanted to follow-up on my starting week’s daily quota for the day-rate remote freelance position you’ve hired me for. After a rough start, a few breakdowns and three full days of panic, I was finally able to fulfill the daily quota on Wednesday.

Thanks again for all your time, help and feedback! I’m very happy to be a part of this team and I look forward to improving.

Ash

（（（(T-T*)）））

How are you goys doing? Seems like everyone in Europe is still on vacation. Porto feels a little less busy, a little more weird, and a middle amount dirtier than usual. Slim pickins on the new artist opportunities to daydream over online and hella shops closed over’ere IRL. I walked past a frutaria this morning and saw a sign saying they’d be closed until September 8th. Honestly, flex. That’s the life I want. Should I be building my life around three solid weeks of Blob in the Sun: A Return to Slob Life? How do I build my life around three solid weeks of leisure? How does anyone even afford it? How does it all even work–is there a brochure or a pamphlet I can peruse? A guidebook? A tutorial on how I get in on this brilliant aspect of European leisure culture? 

*Unsolved Mysteries voice* If you, or someone you know, is European or aspires to be, please share how you manage three weeks of no income and all leisure at the best time of the year. Only YOU can help me be a better European.

the Great Before (i.e. circa 2020) looks so easy from here

My only lifeblood at the moment is the hope that I may once again have a casual adult beverage with a casual adult friend outdoors and far from my laptop, or that I may someday make my favorite sandwich again–arguably the best sandwich–where I am the bread and the grassy Earth is the bread and a simple picnic blanket is the ‘wich. Served with a side of no fucking plans in sight. So yeah, none of this is gonna make sense.

Do you ever go into a situation being like, “hmm, this might get messy,” and then it is actually very messy, like seeping-out-the-pant-leg messy? That’s my leg. I mean my life. My life is the pant leg right now. You’re welcome for that visual. I love you. Don’t unsubscribe because I made you think about having a life like diarrhea.

*closed-mouth screams while imitating an elevator descent from behind desk*

ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ

Anyway, I’m sure things’ll be fine. It’s probably just an air bubble. Meet me here next week, okay?